1           Be loving to one another.   You are together because you fell in love and wanted to be together. Get in the habit of being loving and thoughtful to each other every day.

 

2           Be kind to one another. All human beings are vulnerable.   We need to know that ‘home’ means feeling the strength and love of our partner around us.

 

3           Treat each other the way you would like to be treated. Don’t do or say anything that you would not want said or done to you.

 

4           Always be as tactful and sensitive with one another as you would like other people to be with you. Living together does not give you the right to say everything that comes into your head.

 

5           Make up your mind to have fun and enjoy each other’s company.   Laugh and be happy together as much as you can.

 

6           Be as loving, kind and thoughtful to each other in the bedroom as you are outside.

 

7           Be aware of how much your family background influences how you are and how you behave.   You do not have to do things because they have always been done in a particular way. Create new family traditions.

 

8           Always do what is best for the marriage or the partnership as a whole rather than what is best for each individual. You are in this together now.

 

9           Over time work out your own values together so you know where you are going in life and how you would like to live.   Try not to be influenced by ‘shoulds’ as they belong to other people and not necessarily to you and your partner.

 

10      Most relationships are not perfect but many are wonderful.   Cut each other a little slack sometimes and don’t have unrealistic expectations which would be impossible for any human being to fulfil.

Judy has written two small books on relationships under her married name:- “The Little Book of Women’s Wisdom” and “Lovers Wisdom”.

Judy Piatkus